Our new short form series on The Hole Story has us taking different themes in golf, and doing a snake draft. Then we'll load the results into ChatGPT to get some AI analysis. 

Here we go...ChatGPT's Analysis:

🍿 Best Snacks on the Golf Course — Draft Analysis

Jonathan's Team

1. Tacos from Cabo
Starting with tacos is an aggressive move—and a good one. This feels like a "you had to be there" golf snack. Tacos on a golf course aren't exactly traditional, but that's what makes them memorable. Jonathan is immediately establishing that his team isn't going to play by the rules.

2. Shot of Bourbon from Sweetens Cove
Technically, we're going to have to decide whether a shot counts as a snack. But this is Jonathan at his most Jonathan. And Sweetens Cove gives it legitimacy. It's less "golf-course concession stand" and more "golf experience."

The bigger problem: he used a second pick on a drink. That's either brilliant or an enormous strategic mistake.

3. Haggis Roll from The Castle Course
This might be the sleeper pick of the entire draft. Haggis is already adventurous, and putting it in a roll makes it a legitimate golf-course handheld. It's also incredibly specific—which makes it exactly the kind of thing that makes these drafts fun.

4. Fruit at Aiken Golf Club
And here comes the healthy pick. After tacos, bourbon and haggis, Jonathan apparently remembered that fruit exists.

This is actually a smart pick because fruit is one of those snacks you appreciate more on the back nine when you've already demolished everything else.

5. Macaroni Pie at The Old Course
Elite final-round selection. Macaroni pie is iconic Scottish golf-course food, and pairing it with the Old Course gives this pick serious "golf pilgrimage" credibility.

Jonathan's overall strategy seems to be:

Don't give me something I can get at the gas station. Give me something I'll remember.

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Robby's Team

1. Uncrustable
This is where Robby immediately reveals his strategy: maximum portability, minimum effort.

And honestly? It's brilliant.

An Uncrustable might be the most perfect golf snack ever invented. It doesn't require utensils, doesn't make a mess, fits in a golf bag and can be eaten while waiting on the tee box.

2. Brat
A brat on the golf course is tough to beat. It's substantial enough to actually feel like food, but still qualifies as a handheld snack.

And unlike Jonathan's bourbon, this can actually keep you alive.

3. BBQ Sandwich
Another excellent choice. The only issue is execution. BBQ sandwiches are either incredible or a disaster waiting to happen when you're trying to eat one while wearing a golf shirt.

Still, Robby is clearly building a team around quantity of calories per dollar.

4. Hot Dog
This might be the most obvious pick in the entire draft—and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

A hot dog is basically the Michael Jordan of golf-course snacks: everybody knows it, everybody has eaten one, and there's a reason it keeps showing up.

5. Protein Bar
The least exciting pick on either team, but arguably the most useful.

It's the pick you make when you're on the 15th tee, haven't eaten in four hours, and realize you have seven more holes to play.

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The Strategic Battle

This is where the draft gets interesting.

Jonathan drafted for the experience.
Robby drafted for survival.

Jonathan's team says:

"Remember that time we ate haggis at The Castle Course?"

Robby's team says:

"Yeah, but do you have an Uncrustable?"

And I think that's ultimately the biggest distinction between the two teams.

🏆 My Verdict

Jonathan wins the draft 3-2.

Not because his snacks are necessarily better, but because his team has more personality.

The tacos, bourbon, haggis roll and macaroni pie all come with a story. You don't just eat those things—you remember where you were when you ate them.

Robby's team is probably the team I'd rather have in my golf bag on a 36-hole day, though.

And that distinction might actually become part of what makes this series so good:

Jonathan drafts the stories. Robby drafts the snacks.

Draft MVP: The Uncrustable

I'm giving it the MVP because it is so perfectly suited to golf. No refrigeration required for a few hours, no mess, no utensils, easy to carry, and somehow nostalgic enough that eating one on the course feels completely right.

Final Score: Jonathan 8.7 — Robby 8.3

And I would absolutely make one rule for future drafts: if alcohol is eligible, it has to be explicitly declared as a beverage pick rather than a snack. Otherwise Jonathan is going to start drafting beer, Bloody Marys and margaritas while Robby is stuck choosing between trail mix and beef jerky.